I figure I'm too playful for my own good.
Apparently I fit the Gemini mold well.
I guess that benefits from the fact that I'm not a business owner.
I'd handle my promotions through a raffle or a bingo tournament.

Generally, I'm not allowed to speak at weddings.
There was one.
My best friends' wedding.
I managed to hint at enough trouble we've had together during my speech that it merited a glare from the wifey.
Probably one of my favorite wedding photos ever.

The following are a few choice toasts I've compiled over the years as a wedding singer/friend:

- Every successful man loves to think that he has done it all himself; the wife smiles, an' let's it go at that.
- Home... where a woman puts up with her husband.
- There's only one thing for a married man to do who is married to a woman that enjoys spending money... that is to enjoy earning it.
- To marriage. It halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses.
- I figure marriage is the only venture open to the cowardly.
- To marriage, a legalized way of suppressing free speech.
- Good ol' marriage, the high seas for which no compass has been invented.

I got distracted, go figure.
Here's our 2nd story.

So last week I was gearing up to host my last show at Elks Lodge.
5mins on the road I get a panicked call from Starbucks Girl.
Her mother just suffered a stroke at her workplace.
A quick call to my boss to ask him to cover for me a bit an' I'm flying off to La Jolla.

I come in, get to meet the grandparents, father, an' older brother.
"This is a very elaborate plan to get me to meet everyone."
Laughter from people that were understandably somber earlier.

I've never been a fan of sorrow.
I don't wish it on anyone.
My natural instincts are to get away from those feelings as soon as possible.
Usually via jokes.
That makes me loveable to her family.

Her mother lucked out because she got help pretty quickly.
Stable, yet unconscious when I had to leave.
Next morning, she woke up.
Couldn't speak yet, but the doctor assured the family that there weren't any indications of severe nerve damage.
I get introduced as Starbucks girl's boyfriend.
She gives me a thumbs up.
I've got the approval of the entire family.

3 weeks of flirting, one week of dating.
To me that's kinda fasttrack to boyfriend status.
I wouldn't even define myself in an "open" relationship.
If only because I have no idea what that means to modern society.
But again, boyfriend?
I didn't bring up the issue at the time because it's a sensitive time for her.
I just harbor doubts.
I don't start edging towards boyfriend/girlfriend status because of a single word.

Love.
Noun, verb, also a surname.
Origin: depends on the context.
Used in a sentence: Reggie uses the word "love" pretty sparingly.
L-O-V-E
Love.

Again, a word I don't like to throw around meaninglessly.
If I use it in context with you, you have potential to cause a good deal of emotional trauma to me.
I just want to take my time an' make sure what our feelings are towards each other before I commit.
Because that's what that word entails for me.
Commitment.

I love chicken.
For better or for worse.
'Til my death do us part.

I figure the day I wake up not having any questions to answer or questions to ask, I'm done living.

So I was up to three by the end of the weekend.
Down to one yesterday.
Probably be at zero by the time my birthday rolls around.

Wait. Huh?
Let's backtrack for a bit.

I like to joke that if you're going to abuse me, you might as well make it sexual.
It became clear to me that was the only objective for two of the ladies I was dating.
Granted, it is fun to know that even with the mini-keg I'm hiding in my belly that I can still exude sexiness.
I'd just like something with more substance at this point of my life.
Damn my morals.

So who is left?
Starbucks girl.
She's definitely kept my life interesting the past few weeks.
My problem is I feel like I'm in an accelerated relationship now.
Which I don't like because it's hard to gauge between infatuation, lust, & overall mutual interest.

Anyways, you guys luck out because you get a double post from me tonight.
How we met + Catalyst for speed dating.

Well, at least one.
Still waiting to see if I actually have plans for tonight.

And then a butter croissant hits my face...

It's always fun to wonder how it gets to that point.
It's even funner to explain it.

Starbucks, North County.
Readership knows I like to keep things general to protect people's privacy.
They've also probably already figured out which two Starbucks I'm at regular status are.

So she is a 24yr.old transfer from the La Jolla area.
Moved up to San Marcos to pursue a Masters degree.
I got to meet her because my manager friend just enjoys introducing ladies to me.
Sometimes I think she goes through interviews of prospective employees wondering if I'd flirt with them.

The easy is answer is: yes.
I have this bad habit of being easily distracted by pretty smiles.
I'll also want to comment on them.

2 weeks of casual conversation.
Occassional compliments & discounts.
Playful banter & a discussion about what my ideal cup size is.
"Whatever yours is."
Realistically, something that can fill my mouth.

Fast-forward.
New hire.
5'1 brunette, has teeth.
I need some hot chocolate an' a snack to get me energized for job interviews.
Perfect candidate for flirting.
But I don't.
Maybe it's because I realized the trouble that my penguin tie can bring.
And because Starbucks girl is glaring at me because my reputation proceeds me.
So I just let out my playful smile at the end of the transaction, which prompts conversations from her.

"I like your tie."
"I like penguins an' this tie."
"Yea, penguins are adorable. I really like that tie."
"Well, I like that you like that I like this tie. If only because it's easy to take this off at the end of a date."
"Did you just ask me out on a date?"
"Well assuming you're single an' at least 21, yes. I'm a sucka for a great smile that appreciates penguins."
*shy smile*
"Well... maybe..."
"Usually how it works out is that I get a number an' then I ask you out. It hasn't happened w/ (Starbucks Girl) recently, but that's how it usually works out. Right (Manager friend)?"
"Yea. An' after a few months he starts hitting on another new hire."
"True. But there haven't been any complaints yet. I figure there are some people that are missing out..."
"Here's your butter croissant!"
*SMACK*
Pastry goodness bouncing off my face.
"Can I at least get a bag? Or a number?"
-----------------

Not sure if it's verbatim, but that's generally how the conversation went.
Apparently she's the jealous type.
Which works out for me.
Having a background in acting, I like feeling wanted.
Numbers were exchanged, a few beach dates later, we find ourselves here.
Good times.

And now something from my archives of useless one-liners:
I look at you an' I think to myself, it's a good thing I shaved my balls today.

If the following post just seems scatterbrained, it's my fault.
My fault for not getting this down on paper while it was still fresh in my mind, an' my fault for not following doctor's orders to get more rest.
My body likes to work on only 4hrs. of sleep.

Magic number: 2

What exactly do I mean by magic number?
To those that have known me for awhile, it's the number of ladies I'm currently dating/talking to heavily.
Could be 4, but I can't read mixed signals.

I mention that magic number for two reasons.

One: to contradict a more recently popular sentiment about me that I'm a manwhore.
I'm not looking to, nor do I plan to ever, date 17 women at the same time again.
I don't have the energy, resources, and luck with time management to pull that off.
Besides, manwhore would imply that I'm actually having sexual relations.
I'm pretty sure I'm not.
Hurrah for self-imposed celibacy.
Seriously, try it.
You think more clearly once your body adjusts.
Running off on a tangent... my bad.

Two: because one of the ladies leads to a fun story.
Let me tell you a story...

Last week I found myself interviewing for a Marketing/Sales position for a promotions group that's based out of Downtown SD.
I bring out my standard moderately good looks & charming demeanor that land me a secondary interview w/ upper-management.
Apparently, I interview too well.
HR guy likes me so much, he introduces me to the VP of marketing for my secondary interview.
Only things I can find myself thinking sitting outside her office are "crap! where the hell did I leave my good dress shoes?!" and "why didn't I spend more time ironing my clothes?"

What seems like an eternity lost in self-conflict is actually just a matter of seconds.
The door opens to reveal a stunning 5'7-5'8 without heels brunette beauty.
I can definitely see myself working here.

Interview started off standard, same questions as before.
My laid-back, playful self throws out jokes an' anecdotes in response.
Smiles, laughing at my cheesier jokes, leaning forward, and absentmindedly playing with her hair...
Signs of interest.
In me.
Signs of flirting?
How did I get to this stage?
And am I really in it?
To answer the questions in my head she reaches over to my tie and tells me "I like penguins too."

To most people, that would be considered the 2nd or 3rd sexiest combination of words you can tell me.
Coming from her, I would agree with the masses.
The hint of cleavage noticed by my peripheral vision earlier also helped.
That an' her leaning forward to show off previously noted hint of cleavage.
If it wasn't for the desk between us, I would practically be motor-boating what I guessed were 36B.
To get the job, I would if I had to.

I want to say our entire "interview" lasted a lil' over an hr.
I'm guessing the actual interview was around 15mins.
To sum up, it was mostly flirting.
It also ended it with her telling me "I'm not going to hire you because I'd be worried about sexual harrassment."
Like she isn't already?

I got a number.
I lost out on a career-opportunity.
I found myself a beautiful, witty, girlfriend prospect.
I'm still searching for a source of steady income.
Turns out they're 36C.

Mixed feelings really.
A part of me should be bitter, but I find too much humor in this situation an' the fact that we've already been on three dates.
I'm enjoying what life sends my way.
I just need to adjust to not being able to provide/give as much as I'd like to.

The other bachelorette?
Just a Grad student/Starbucks employee.
Yea, boring.
That story only involves a butter croissant thrown at my face.

Real talk: I miss you

Hey. How's life?

It's me.
Do you miss me?
I'm pretty sure I miss you.
I mean, it's you.

It's like... I miss the way you immediately bring happiness into my life whenever you're around me.
I miss how you bring a sense of serenity to my soul.
I miss actively changing my lifestyle just so I could spend time with you.
I miss how just the thought of having you in my life could help me sleep better.
I miss how knowing I would get to see you later on in the day would just automatically make it a great one for me.
I miss holding you.
I miss being able to turn to you when things get bad.
I miss being able to turn to you when things get good.
I miss you inspiring me to become a better person.

I miss you.
And I'm not the only one.
My friends have noticed a change since you've left me.
They notice I'm not as willing to go out with them as I used to be when I was with you.
To be honest, just can't go out without you being a part of my life.

Was it me?
Did I do something wrong?
Did I zig when I should've zagged?
Did I joke around with you too much?
Did I not give you enough attention?
Did you feel like I was throwing you away?
That I wasn't thinking 'bout us in the long-term?
Was it because of that one time I threw up a little on you and did a half-ass job of cleaning you up?

What is it?
Tell me.
Please tell me.
Damnit!
I miss you.
I miss you alot.

Money.
Seriously.
I miss you.
Come back to me.
Does that make you feel better?
Seeing these words?

Reggie misses Money.

My contact info hasn't changed.
Drop me a line.

Why yes, yes I am still using a dating site.
If only because I'm a social-butterfly an' I enjoy flirting.
It's also because I have myself way too much fun w/ the headline of my profile.

I don't like bein' standard, it's probably why I get so many hits.
The following are headlines I've been tempted to post, but know better.

- I don't bite... unless you want me to.
- The only thing you should take seriously about me is my penis.
- I thought a thought, but the thought I thought I thought wasn't the thought I thought... I think.
- I've been known to inspire crushes.
- I have this bad habit of stealing... hearts.
- I want to make you pregnant.
- I don't have a girlfriend, I just know a woman that gets really angry when I say that.
- I'm not an alcoholic, I just drink like one.
- I hate 41% of all stats.
- My reality check bounced.
- Perfect for sub-par, mediocre sex.
- I'm not a one-night stand person. I'm a multi-stand person. Sometimes I'll even lay down.
- I get what I want, or I change my mind.
- I haven't failed, I've just found myself 10,000 ways that don't work.

Currently, mine reads:
For best results, mix with water.

There won't be much humor in this post either.
This is more of a bookmark for my life.
Down the line I can look at this entry an' either laugh uncomfortably or congratulate myself on a job well done.

Start off w/ a mini-update on myself for the peeps that use this as a means to keep tabs on me.

Officially, September's gonna be the last month for the house I spent 2/3 of my lifetime living in.
Barring any unforeseen financial miracles, that's the longest we can keep off foreclosure.

Real Estate license is useless for me at the moment.
I more or less quit my group last week after I got forced to take a mini-vacation an' ended up losing three clients during that period that I was working with personally for the past few years.
Generally: lots of work + high stress + commission only + no wages = pointless

Only income's coming from p/t bartending and karaoke hosting gigs.
Speaking of hosting...

Wednesday nights from 7-11pm.
Elks Lodge in Oceanside.
Hot Hits Entertainment with your host Reggie!
Apparently I've also been nominated for best new KJ (Karaoke Jockey), which feels weird for me.
-----------------------

I guess it's safe to say I feel like my life is stalled at the moment.
Been interviewing for a new career job since last August, go figure.
Go to the interview(s), kick ass, take names, chew bubblegum afterwards, get caught in a hiring freeze.
Fun cycle.
Be even better if I actually qualified for unemployment checks like the rest of my friends.
At this point, I'm pretty certain it's the lack of steady income that's held me back from at least 5 amazing women that could've changed my relationship status this year.

For now, I don't want to focus on my long-term goals.
They're all still there.
I have faith everything'll fall into place eventually.
I'd just like to focus on the present an' things I actually have control over.
The following is pretty much a to-do list for this week.

- Stop letting myself get dragged down by negative friend(s) and/or just take a break from them.
- Recharge my optimism.
- Recharge my patience.
- Finish up the two novels I'm reading.
- Buy a new one.
- Build a kite like the ones we made in Elementary School.
- Take that kite to the park.
- Watch failed Engineering at its finest.
- Audible to just laying on my back and cloud watching.
- Actually let my knee heal completely before I start jogging again.
- Re-string ukulele.
- Finish up lullaby.
- Finish up three songs in progress.
- Finish editing spoken word piece.
- Post some of the completed writings here.
- Impress at two interviews this week.
- Follow up on Census Bureau job.
- Look more seriously into FBI an' Cruise line offers.
- Save up for a possible month of complete unemployment in June.
- Float on.
- Just keep swimming.
- No woman no cry.
- Clean/fix computer.
- Clean/fix/optimize television in room.
- Hug mother more.
- Catch up w/ old friends.
- Determine cost-effectiveness of keeping head monk-bald.
- Stockpile water balloons for my bday weekend.
- Wonder if I forgot to add anything.

I'm probably losing too many skin cells.
My room's overly dusty.

So yea, there's this notebook/sketchpad thingy I've been puttin' all my thoughts an' ideas into the past few weeks.
Post the results an' enjoy the happy good fun times afterwards right?
Not really.
Misplaced previously mentioned notepad/sketchpad thingy during a trip to Balboa Park yesterday.
"Blah gah gah!" would be the correct response.